“Lost In A Trance” by Amandeep Singh
Hi. I know, it’s been a while. What can I say? What happened? Many, many things.
First, there’s been work. I’ve been extremely busy, working on lots of new projects: some very exciting, some less so. And I bought a house! I am now a homeowner. It is a strange, surreal and expensive experience, to say the least.
Mostly I have been thinking. About my life, about this blog: my hopes and aspirations for this little project I have put so much time and effort into. More importantly, I have thought about what it has been, and who I am now, and the great disparity that has arisen between the two.
Recently, Trisha Royal went on a similar hiatus (though with much more warning, granted). When she returned, she encapsulated a great deal of what I was feeling about myself and the relationship I had with my blog perfectly…
i’m not sure if i like where it’s gone the past couple years while i idled along, just trying to make it through each day. i feel like i’ve gotten away from what means something to me (making things, thinking deep thoughts/asking deep questions), and i want to get back to those things in earnest here, if i can find a way to do so.
See, that’s the thing with this new medium. You begin it as an extension of yourself. But it has a mind of its own. It grows and shapes itself in ways you could never imagine. It is absorbed and interpreted, and you have very little control over the process once it leaves your fingertips. The next thing you know, everyone is telling you that you have a “fashion” blog, or a “mommy” blog, or a blog about the different varieties of navel orange. You develop a habit of uncontrollably wincing in public whenever a word starting with “b” is uttered in your presence.
People are going to pigeonhole – it’s an inherent part of our psyches. And that’s well and good, but I think for many of us, there comes a moment when we step back, look at what we have created, and ask ourselves, “was this my intent?” And many times, the answer is, “no.”
I don’t want this to sound like I am complaining. People enjoy this site, and I derive a great deal of pleasure from that. The main issue is that a point was reached that I was no longer enjoying the site. I needed to take a little time to step back, and reconsider my position.
And I have. I feel I have a pretty good idea of where I want this site to go, and what I want it to be about. The main goal is still the same as it ever was: INSPIRATION. I want this site to function as a haven, a brief respite from all the ugliness and banality that we are forced to endure on a daily basis. I am just planning to approach it in a different way. I may even open the site up to multiple contributors. The important thing is – it’s not about me. It never has been. It’s about what I can contribute to those who read this site.
This is not to discount the material that I have posted in the past. At the time, it encapsulated my interests and desires at that specific moment in time. For that reason, all former material is staying up, and not going anywhere.
However, I look forward to the future of this experiment, even if it strays from the norms set in the past. And most of all, I hope you, gentle readers, will share that future with me.
