The End of History (Photo by Dave Branfield / Brewdog)

1. Squirrel Beer: I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “My, this $765 is really burning a hole in my pocket, plus it’s so HEAVY. I wish I had something very important to spend it on.” Good people, Brewdog has heard your pleas, and packaged their answer in the stuffed carcass of your favorite roadkill. No, not Rush Limbaugh. The other one.

2. Clever Little Monkey: Apple needs to come to terms with the fact they are not going to win this war: as a crafty fifteen-year old just showed them, when he disguised a tethering app in what on first blush appeared a simple flashlight application. Maybe if Apple wasn’t firmly caught under the tyrannical boot of AT&T, they’d realize that this is what the people desire – an iPhone that is also a modem. LIBERTA!

3. Mystery Celebrity:
“Hey, I have this brilliant idea!”
“We are in New York City, the home of brilliant ideas – let ‘er rip!”
“We put a box in the middle of Bryant Park!”
“Great!”
“And we stick a celebrity in it!”
“Okay!”
“And people can look at them!”
“Right – then what?”
“That’s It!”
“…”
“!”
“…Did Bob Saget put you up to this?”

4. The Most Homoerotic Photos Ever Taken: Ok, it’s really silly, and I feel like a twelve-year old for even posting it – but some of these are extremely funny.

5. A Merkin?: I did not know what a merkin was? Did you? Now that I do, I don’t feel relieved. I feel confused, and troubled. One question has been answered, but now there are SO. MANY. MORE.

6. Bjork Protests Icelandic Energy Sales: This just totally falls in line with my theory that Bjork spends all her time communicating with Icelandic nature elves, and rescuing baby seals. If we discover cold fusion in our lifetime, trust me – Bjork will be the one to do it, using some strange combination of yarn and beat-boxing.

7. Witches Whiskers, Pixie Gowns: Through a competition held through Natural England, 10 endangered species were given common, adorable names. The reason they did this is because people have a natural tendency to want to destroy things they can’t pronounce.

Finally, I dare you to resist the evil powers of a baby in a watermelon…

That’s it! Go have a weekend! Scoot!

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